When All Else Fails..

SWADDLE!!! OMG I was at my ropes end yesterday with breastfeeding. Donnie seriously stayed on my boob every hour from 5 am until about 11 pm. Literally every hour I was feeding him. Of course me being a first time mom I immediately thought he was hungry since he was soo fussy. I checked his diaper, and every time when I thought he was finish and he started to doze off he would wake within 30-40 minutes. My mom was over for the weekend so it was great to have someone to pass him off to (hubs was at work). I just couldn't understand why he wasn't sleeping well. So me trying to figure out what was wrong I thought I wasn't producing enough  milk . I was so frustrated and was on the verge of giving up. I've been having this love/hate relationship with breastfeeding. I'm always stressing out wondering if he's getting enough, despite the constant reassurance from my hubs and mom, the amount of wet and dirty diapers. I'm one of those types that have to see how much he's getting to settle my mind. Man I can't wait until his 2 month well visit on the 24th to see his weigh progress. 

Despite the other cues, he was also spitting up so I "knew" something was going in him. Ugh why can't breastfeeding easy? I never knew it required knowing so much. I always thought you just popped your boob in their mouth and they would eat. Or is it really easy and today's society makes it harder than what is should be? Honestly I think it's a little of both. I was talking to my mom who exclusively breastfed me and she kept saying how she didn't remember it being that hard back then. She only had a hand pump (I'm not sure electric ones where available back then) and she fed me just fine. No lactation consultants, no special pills/teas to help with supply, hands free bra's for pumping, boppy's etc. just simply breastfeeding. 

So finally I dropped my worry and said he's fine, I know he isn't starving and instinctt mode came it. I broke out the swaddle rocked him to sleep and he was content. Oh the best four hours of my life! As for today it's been going much better, he's sleeping well and eating good. So I know that with this thing called breastfeeding I must just take it one day at a time.

Happy 2011!!

Happy New Year to my lovely readers! I hope your new year is going great so far! So I'm trying to figure out how to juggle keeping up my blog and tending to a baby. I want to at least post 3x's a week so we will see how this goes! As for what's been going on in our household, all is well. Donnie is eating great except when he gets frustrated. I'm trying to figure out why that is, the milk is coming out but I notice it happens when my nipple gets soft. He's a very impatient baby (aren't they all) and he loves trying to "help" mama out. He seriously likes to hold my breast like a bottle and I have to remind him that I don't need any help and he's actually in the way lol!

I'm  able to write this post due to my lovely hands free pumping bra. I just fed Donnie, he's knocked out and now I'm trying to pump to store extra milk so the hubs can feed the baby as well. On another note, let me tell you about how I brought in the new year. My family had a new year's party and it was so great to get to see them all (I hadn't seen many of them since the 4th of July). Everyone was asking "where is the baby", "how is he sleeping". I only had two people ask how I was doing..which I guess I should get used to ha! It was great to get out the house with the hubs (my mother was at our house watching Donnie by the way), get dressed up and I even had a glass of wine! Yes my first drink since last April. I was seriously buzzed by the second sip. It was nice to have a taste but I honestly don't miss drinking and don't worry I had pump some milk for Donnie before hand, enough to last until the alcohol was out of my system.

Well that's about it..don't you love my all over the place posts?! Sorry, I swear it seems that after my third trimester my train of thought isn't as good. Is that normal? Hopefully it returns and I'm able to write some better posts :)

Pity Party

Yep I'm having one right now. I read all the comments from you ladies with awesome advice, along with speaking with some other ladies who were successful after delayed breastfeeding. So why am I upset? Well I brought the Breast Flow bottles hoping he would take to those, well so far it has been a total bust. I originally started with Playtex Drop Ins and I think he is used to that nipple. See Donovan is a lazy baby when it comes to eating, which is normal for preemies. I understand that they get tired fast. However he also is a greedy baby! He sucks so fast and hard like he's never eaten in his life! It's the funniest thing ever but since I've tried to introduce the Breast Flow bottle it has become a real task. He will take the bottle but only drink about 1 oz and he's over it.

According to his pediatrician he should be drinking 2-4 oz, (which he would do with the other bottle) so I can't help but think it's the bottle and the last thing I want is for him not to eat enough. So I'm lost! I don't know if I continue with the Breast Flow bottles, hoping it'll get better or do I just switch back to the Playtex ones which I know he likes (this is where I need help/advice). I guess seeing him not take to the Breast Flow bottle makes me think he'll never latch on to me. This causes me so much stress!

I've been crying all night because it seems like nothing is going right. I've been trying to take everything in stride and remain positive but my delivery was a difficult one, definitely nothing like I imagined. Yes I know things don't always go as plan, and I'm pretty good with rolling with the punches but it seems like I can't catch a break. I don't think anyone understands how important it is for me to breast feed. I always intended on breastfeeding that I never looked up information about formula feeding while pregnant. I "tried" to prepare myself that breastfeeding isn't always easy, so I took classes and tried to do as much research as I could. I'm not judging those who do but some don't even consider breastfeeding and to think that I want to and it's so difficult for me is just upsetting. I just emailed the lactation consultant who held my breast feeding class for advice. I plan on scheduling an appointment with the clinic as soon as I'm done with my medication. That's some good news I can share, I went to the O.B. yesterday and my blood pressure is coming down. One of the medications I'm on for seizures she said I can stop taking once I run out ( which will be in about four days). Then she plans on weaning me from blood pressure meds starting next Tuesday. I guess that's something to be happy about seeing as how I thought I'd be on those meds for about a month.

Again  I want to thank all my readers for commenting. I also want to give a special thanks to Alex and Mrs. W for giving me as much advice as possible. All of my readers ROCK! It's amazing how I was a total wreck at the beginning of the writing this post and now I feel relieved. I really needed to get that off my chest! Once again I do plan on sharing my birth story. I honestly think that I'm avoiding it because I don't like to think back on what happened, especially since the only part of it that went right (good, great, perfect) was delivering Donovan, which is the most important part of course. In due time I will share it all in full detail. For now I'm trying to get over this hurdle and get some type of normalcy back.