Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Waiting Game

Saturday going off of two hours of sleep Mr Motown and I headed to the hospital for my MRI. I was a little nervous I must admit. When they took me back to the room to get changed I tried to calm myself down by reading a magazine. Mrs. Motown they called. I walked to this cold room and got on the MRI bed. The technician went over what would happen (all of what I had already known since this wasn't my first one) but for some reason I was still terrified. I lied down and the machine started. Once inside it felt as though it was closing in on me. I panicked, told them to stop, I needed a minute. I began to cry, I was all alone (they told Mr. Motown to wait in the lobby) with this guy looking at me like I was crazy. I asked " Why do they do this to us?" I don't even know who they was but I was scared. I asked the man for any advice. He simply said just close your eyes and don't open them. I did.

During that thirty minutes so much ran through my mind. Did I have MS? How would I take the news? I then began to try to think happy thoughts so I reminisce about the wedding, my little sister, Mr. Motown to make the time past. It's something about having to hold still for 30 mins in darkness that just doesn't sit well with me. However I did it, and as crazy as it may sound I was proud of myself. I had did it! I knew it was important to get this test done as it was the only way I could be properly diagnosed.

I wouldn't wish that experience on my worst enemy. It was scary but I'm glad I overcame my fear and finished it. The technician said 3-4 people A DAY don't finish their MRI because of fear so I guess I'm not the only one that freaked out.

Now the waiting game begins, I have another doctor's appointment on this Friday where I will have hearing and vision tests done. Then I will get all of my results on Friday, Oct 2. I want to thank all of my readers that reached out to me and your prayers mean so much to me! I wanted to share this verse I found, that is keeping my spirits up! I will definitely keep you updated as I go through this difficult journey.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

source: shepmedia.com


  1. You are in my thoughts and prayers, KayKay. *Hugs*

  2. Still praying for you. I've been thinking about you. {{{HUGS}}}

  3. Kaykay you are in my prayers please stay strong and keep ur spirits up! Your grandma is watching over you!